6.23.25
I’ve spent the last 2 days in my room working and I was getting a little stir crazy, so I went to Starbucks to work. I shouldn’t drink as much Starbucks as I have been drinking, but it was convenient and I started accumulating enough rewards points that I started to actively work towards the reward of a free drink.
My room is still a very nice place. I’ve decorated it with tons of posters, prints, photos. I have this cool flag where I can keep all of my pins. I’ve gotten pins as gifts from Mia, from art events, zine festivals, from ArtCenter. I’m not really a pin person so I’m not sure what to do with the pins except put them on this little organizer flag.
When it comes to ArtCenter, I feel a little aimless. I wanted to go to ArtCenter so I could better my skills as a designer. And I do feel myself becoming a better designer, but it’s a lot of hard work at the expense of my mental and physical health. I also am struggling to afford school without much in the way of savings. If I knew I would get a job straight out of college, I would plow ahead with my education, but it sounds like a lot of ArtCenter alumni are struggling in the job hunt as much as anyone else.
What I’ve settled on for right now is I’ll take this summer and the fall off and simply save up money by working. I know I can take up to 2 terms off, so I think it might be a good idea to take advantage of that.
This solution still feels frustrating to me because it will make my stay at ArtCenter longer, stretching into my 30’s. It feels like less stability than I would prefer at 30, but in this job market it’s hard to think of a sure fire way to rectify the situation. Even my friends who have careers in STEM seem impacted by the current job market.
In the meantime, I’m taking advantage of all the academic counseling, professional talks, and student jobs that I can at ArtCenter during my time off. I’m participating in clubs and contributing to student publications. People always say you go to a fancy art school like ArtCenter to take advantage of the connections and I feel like I’m making a lot of connections. The funny thing is they don’t feel like “professional” connections, as much as just making friends and struggling through shared trauma.
I’m planning on looking into internships and jobs for the fall so I can still earn money when my work with Teresa ends. Also, my work as an ArtCenter orientation leader will also end in the fall. But for the summer I’m set.
I don’t know when I’ll find the time to look for a job or an internship as my days are pretty consistently taken up by the freelance work I’m doing, but I’m hoping to lean more into job-hunting by the end of the week.
Anyway, I think about work and my career a lot. Not so much because I like working, but I just feel really determined to support myself. I don’t want to rely on my parents forever and I feel like part of loving myself is becoming more self-sufficient. It’s just unfortunate that I’m trying to do this in a job market that is poop right now. I feel like I need to constantly work and plan and scheme just to make the smallest amount of money. I don’t like that it is like this–I wish I had more time for introspection and self-care. But I just really want to move out and have an apartment to myself.
I’d like to live in a situation where I can be openly queer, invite friends over, and eat all the cheesy ramen I can hadle. A dream that feels far away right now.